Rape in Relationship : is it allowed?
What Does Rape in relationship means?
According to Dictionary.com,Rape is defined as unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.rape in relationship is the act of doing it with your partner without their consent.
Does Law protect the right of rape victims in relationship?
When a woman has a close personal relationship with the man who rapes her, she (and others) may be confused about whether the attack was really a rape.
Oregon law, however, is clear on the subject of marital rape. Oregon has been a leader among the states in asserting that the marriage contract does not erase a wife’s right to say no to her husband. A woman in this state who is raped by her husband has the same rights as any other victim of rape, and she can receive the same protection under the Family Abuse Prevention Act as a woman who is beaten by her husband.
Similarly, what some call “date rape” is in fact the crime of rape. The term “date rape’” should not be used, as it is never appropriate to define a crime in the context in which it sometimes happens. For example, you would never hear, “it was a walk-in-the-park mugging”.
Sexual assaults and rapes are planned; they are not the results of unpredictable bursts of passion. The plan often is subtle and intricate, involving covert threats and manipulative actions. For example, earlier in the evening, the sexual offender might have demonstrated his strength in a playful wrestling match, or he may have shown her his gun collection or happened to mention violent acts he had committed in the past. The purpose is to plant the seeds of fear that will undermine her defenses when he attacks her.
Rapists will often rationalize, “It was a date, and she knew what to expect” (as if all dates are supposed to involve rape); or, “She shouldn’t have drunk so much if she didn’t want to do it” (since when is trusting someone an invitation to rape?); or, “She didn’t fight or scream” (as if being immobilized by fear or shock should be construed as consent).
Women who have been raped by their husbands or acquaintances experience many of the same fears and feelings as the victim of any sexual assault. They suffer from guilt (“Was it something I said? Or did?”), from fear (“What if it happens again?”), and from loss of trust (“How could he do this to me?”).
The victim needs to know that the attack was planned and nothing she did or did not do caused his sexually assaultive behavior. She needs to hear that he is a criminal and she is not an accessory to the crime but rather a victim. She needs to understand that her reactions during the assault—whether she chose nonresistance or screaming or some other tactic—were what she needed to do to survive. Only her instincts could tell her his potential for violence at that time, and she was correct to trust her instincts. Whether or not she chooses to prosecute, we encourage her to contact someone trained to work with sexual assault victims so that her healing process may begin as quickly as possible
Can you be raped by your spouse?
All states now recognize rape within marriage as a crime, and most charge the crime in the same way that rape between strangers would be charged. However, at least two states still have slight differences in the law for rape between spouses.Some states may have exemption to marital rape however most time it is difficult to proof as sex within marriage is consexual ,it do take marital discord or separation to proof marital rape occured.
Does age differences indicate rape in a relationship?
Yes it do matter to law the age of the two partner and this bring us to something called STATUTORY RAPE ;This is defined as having sex with a partner less than 18 years ,For instance if Mr A who is 20 years had sex with Miss B who is 17 (less than 18years) Then this is considered as Statutory rape has even though she gave consent and it was mutual but she’s not Old enough to give consent.You can be sue Under law for Statutory Rape so beware.
To know more about sexual assault and rape,check last post on Rape : man’s Inhumanity

What are the problems associated with rape in a relationship
1.Traumatic attack
3.Constant Fear and Insecurity
4.Low self Esteem
5.Unwanted pregnancy
Among others…
In conclusion,Rape in Relationship exist and should be eradicated.There is nothing like he/she lost control of their sexual urge,one of the characteristics of rape in relationship is that it is often planned and the victim would have been seeing signs of intimidation from the partner.
If you’ve ever been raped in a relationship,it can be traumatic and have side-effects however its left for you to move on with your life,and try to avoid the attack the next time.It is not  normal and appropriate as you have the right to sue the offender.
Remember you have the right to be free from violence and to reject actions against your will.
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Rape: man’s inhumane act
A victim of rape

While the world battles the novel Corona virus, there have been an outrageous spark by Nigerians over the brutality of Vera Uwaila and others we haven’t heard of. The society must shun such inhumane act, the government must act to bring to law the perpetrators. The dignity of a woman and girl child must be preserved and gender equality (Sustainable Development Goal-SDG 5) must be practice if we desire a sane environment in the next generation. An act against the right of an individual is a crime. I want to talk about rape which is a type of sexual assault.

Sexual assault is an act which a person sexually touches another person deliberately without the other’s consent or physically coerces a person into sexual act against their will. Types include rape, groping.
Rape is when a person intentionally penetrates another’s vagina, anus or mouth with a penis, without the other person’s consent.

The prevalence of rape cases in Nigeria is on the rise, individual who has been raped faces a lot of social, medical, emotional and psychological problems. These problems include, genital tract traumas could lead to bleeding, fistulas, abnormal vaginal discharges, sexually transmitted infections like HIV/AIDS, unwanted pregnancies which may lead to unsafe abortions, sexual disorders and mental illnesses amongst other negative effects. Other problems include denial, learned helplessness, genophobia, anger, self-blame, anxiety, shame, nightmares, fear, depression, flashbacks, guilt, rationalization, moodswings, numbness, promiscuity, loneliness, social anxiety, victim finds it difficult trusting oneself or others, difficulty concentrating, development of posttraumatic stress disorder, addiction, major depressive disorder or other psychopathologies, emotional scarring by both victim and family of victim, a strong desire for revenge.

Rape can also occur within marriage and relationships, know that sex is about consent. If your partner forced you into having sex with them, it is rape.
The end result of rape is a bruised and a battered woman.
Rape offenders can be strangers, family members, friends, acquaintances, supervisors and even religious leaders.
It is unfortunate that most cases of rape are under-reported probably due to fear of stigmatization, the intent to protect the victims, belief that the police may fail to solve the crime as well as considering the low rate of prosecution of offenders by the Police. The laws in Nigeria against rape should fully take effect against offenders.

Recovering from rape requires time, the process is hurting and painful. Sometimes, the experience makes you feel weak and useless. But there are ways out:

  • Reach out to someone you trust and open up. It really hurts and hurt the more when talking about it but in same manner silence is deadly in the situation. It delays the healing and adds to the feeling of shame. Open up to that someone who is supportive, calm and compassionate, it does help. 
  • Rise from your sense of helplessness and stigma or isolation. Let this challenge you to live a normal life and also encourage younger generation who will experience this epidemic. 
  • Flashbacks, nightmares and depression will certainly set in but clamp them down with the assurance that there are not real. 
  • Bring your body and feelings together, don’t feel physical and emotional shut down. Participate in social activities, engage your mind and cheer up. 
  • Stay connected to your God. 
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