Rape in Relationship : is it allowed?
What Does Rape in relationship means?
According to Dictionary.com,Rape is defined as unlawful sexual intercourse or any other sexual penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.rape in relationship is the act of doing it with your partner without their consent.
Does Law protect the right of rape victims in relationship?
When a woman has a close personal relationship with the man who rapes her, she (and others) may be confused about whether the attack was really a rape.
Oregon law, however, is clear on the subject of marital rape. Oregon has been a leader among the states in asserting that the marriage contract does not erase a wife’s right to say no to her husband. A woman in this state who is raped by her husband has the same rights as any other victim of rape, and she can receive the same protection under the Family Abuse Prevention Act as a woman who is beaten by her husband.
Similarly, what some call “date rape” is in fact the crime of rape. The term “date rape’” should not be used, as it is never appropriate to define a crime in the context in which it sometimes happens. For example, you would never hear, “it was a walk-in-the-park mugging”.
Sexual assaults and rapes are planned; they are not the results of unpredictable bursts of passion. The plan often is subtle and intricate, involving covert threats and manipulative actions. For example, earlier in the evening, the sexual offender might have demonstrated his strength in a playful wrestling match, or he may have shown her his gun collection or happened to mention violent acts he had committed in the past. The purpose is to plant the seeds of fear that will undermine her defenses when he attacks her.
Rapists will often rationalize, “It was a date, and she knew what to expect” (as if all dates are supposed to involve rape); or, “She shouldn’t have drunk so much if she didn’t want to do it” (since when is trusting someone an invitation to rape?); or, “She didn’t fight or scream” (as if being immobilized by fear or shock should be construed as consent).
Women who have been raped by their husbands or acquaintances experience many of the same fears and feelings as the victim of any sexual assault. They suffer from guilt (“Was it something I said? Or did?”), from fear (“What if it happens again?”), and from loss of trust (“How could he do this to me?”).
The victim needs to know that the attack was planned and nothing she did or did not do caused his sexually assaultive behavior. She needs to hear that he is a criminal and she is not an accessory to the crime but rather a victim. She needs to understand that her reactions during the assault—whether she chose nonresistance or screaming or some other tactic—were what she needed to do to survive. Only her instincts could tell her his potential for violence at that time, and she was correct to trust her instincts. Whether or not she chooses to prosecute, we encourage her to contact someone trained to work with sexual assault victims so that her healing process may begin as quickly as possible
Can you be raped by your spouse?
All states now recognize rape within marriage as a crime, and most charge the crime in the same way that rape between strangers would be charged. However, at least two states still have slight differences in the law for rape between spouses.Some states may have exemption to marital rape however most time it is difficult to proof as sex within marriage is consexual ,it do take marital discord or separation to proof marital rape occured.
Does age differences indicate rape in a relationship?
Yes it do matter to law the age of the two partner and this bring us to something called STATUTORY RAPE ;This is defined as having sex with a partner less than 18 years ,For instance if Mr A who is 20 years had sex with Miss B who is 17 (less than 18years) Then this is considered as Statutory rape has even though she gave consent and it was mutual but she’s not Old enough to give consent.You can be sue Under law for Statutory Rape so beware.
To know more about sexual assault and rape,check last post on Rape : man’s Inhumanity

What are the problems associated with rape in a relationship
1.Traumatic attack
2.Confusion
3.Constant Fear and Insecurity
4.Low self Esteem
5.Unwanted pregnancy
Among others…
In conclusion,Rape in Relationship exist and should be eradicated.There is nothing like he/she lost control of their sexual urge,one of the characteristics of rape in relationship is that it is often planned and the victim would have been seeing signs of intimidation from the partner.
If you’ve ever been raped in a relationship,it can be traumatic and have side-effects however its left for you to move on with your life,and try to avoid the attack the next time.It is not  normal and appropriate as you have the right to sue the offender.
Remember you have the right to be free from violence and to reject actions against your will.
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The Effects of Porn and how to stop Watching it.
    Pornography has been on of the major threats facing humanity, which destroy and still destroying lives of people.
 It’s a stigma, it’s Awkward to talk about, you don’t really want to bring it up with Friends.
It’s weird to talk about it in Church or Mosque. But it really needs to be addressed .
             
     
                                  WHY SHOULD I STOP .
It’s a question that’s been running through our minds by now as we are satisfying our sexual urge from it has it leads to masturbating and fortunately we Ejaculate.
I view all naked parts that are been covering within my area with just an easy download.
I feel relaxed and satisfied at the moment and watching it.
When I get tired or get demotivated or get a bad day ,I watched it to make me feel better.
But we all know that nothing with Advantages without disadvantages  so here are some Effects on our life both Mentally and physically.
                   

    
                         EFFECTS..
1. Broken or troubled Intimate Relationship also called social anxiety.
2. Feeling of shame and guilty.
3. Completely kills your Motivation i.e with work or school e. t. c.
4. Financial Troubles.
5. Divorces.
6. (FAITH) i.e it’s a Sin .
  The worst part of it , it’s our Mental health issues such as mood disorders e.g Depression e.t.c.

An Armchair Psychology , Amanda Gordon , said we have a biological response or understanding to sexual stimuli .
Which the brain starts to depend on those stimuli.
Researchers detect changes in brain patterns Among porn addicts .
           
                 

HOW TO STOP!!!…
This what  we all have been waiting for ! Haven know how dangerous this catastrophe is for me, I wanna stop but it’s not easy , have even tried for some weeks or months then suddenly I found myself again in the act.
This it.

***WILLING TO STOP OR DETERMINATION TO QUIT IS IMPORTANT****

 1. Speed of Implementation is key; 
      Right now you are reading this, you are highly motivated to stop and to overcome it. then it is very easier to get things done .
But After reading this , you didn’t take actions maybe two to three days then booooom!! You have start watching it again.
So After Reading this , I need you to take actions immediately .
2. Eliminate Any Form or all Sources of Temptation immediately and Completely;
  What are the sources , you must check your surroundings, there are some simple sources that has to be Eliminated immediately like common Whatsap T.V, i.e T.V that shows statuses like No bra challenges, Twerking challenges and Even porn itself. Are to be blocked immediately and setting up parental/Adult site blockers on your phone , to prevent you from seeing Explicit content.
3. Established a Very Strong “WHY”.
  When Applying for jobs or Reading , you established why am I doing this makes it more successful, i.e Am Applying for jobs to make some cash , am reading to have knowledge or to pass my exams.

So please here take a sheet of paper and write the reasons you need to stop watching porn.

My own reasons include
# I get compromised by Faith 
# it killed my motivation
# it gives me a huge social anxiety
  Just make sure you Established your “WHY”.
4. Find an accountability partner.
 It’s somehow hard to do this , but you really need it. I used to have one trusted friend then, which also struggles to with stopping it , because I almost get to a stage where I feel like watching it again but I think of it , and talked to him about it and he said , “nigga  na the same thing I dey battle with oo, I wan stop I no know wetin I fit do ” I was happy to hear the truth from him too , because I used to remember a Bible verse that says 

” IRON SHARPENS IRON, SO ONE MANY SHARPENS ANOTHER” .

And we both take control of it.
Just reach out to a friend and be vulnerable with him or her so it would be vice versa.
5. PUNISHMENT.
I punished myself and my friends I told you about too whenever I watched it he gave me some cash and when he did too  he gave me some cash .
“THE MORE YOU PAY , THE MORE YOU PAY ATTENTION” .

 “6. The last but not least  is to PRAY.

God knows what we are all going through , since you are ready to help yourself , he is really gonna help you .

” TAKE MASSIVE ACTIONS RIGHT NOW, REMEMBER SUCCESS LOVES SPEED”.
Smiles , I know you are Motivated Right now , so please take action. 
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