Step-parenting can be a burden especially with poor management and lack of Understanding from the children’s side
A stepfather is someone who is like a father to you as a result of marrying your mom while a stepmother is a mother-figure who forms family with you as a result of marrying your dad.
From research,stepfathers tend to have good relationship with their stepchildren than stepmom due to several reasons and some of them are :
- Society’s perception of step-mom: Have you watched Cinderella?
What do you understand from that movie?,it’s all about a wicked stepmother who maltreats a little girl and pampers her own ugly daughters.
This has stick to every child’s brain that all step-mothers are wicked and none of them will want your progress,stepfathers are not viewed this way as men are thought to be calm and gentle in most occasion with their stepchildren.
- Stepmothers try hard to be their mom
All stepmothers should erased this thought,you are never their mother and for you to reach a closer step to forming bond with them,this won’t happen overnight so don’t be too enthusiastic about making your stepchildren your babies right when you step into their house,actually some divorced men do marry another woman with the believe that he needs someone to look after his children and this is not helping with the stepmother and stepdaughter clashes especially.
Stepfathers may play advisor and a guardian in their stepchildren’s life but then they knew they has/had a father ,they are quick to accept that these children are part of their family but not their children.
- Women tends to be emotionally blown away and rational in judgement at times
This is where stepmothers are getting it wrong,just because you are in a family with children.you feel jealous with the way their dad treat them,you start to badmouth their mom or making plans with your children on the outings you’d be going together.
We tend to express how we feel even when we know this might hurt others,I’m not saying you should go back to point 2 but then you shouldn’t be too distracted to forget there are children in the marriage you are getting into hence you need to be considerate of their feelings as at first they will want to transfer aggression of their parents separation unto you,Don’t give the chance for insecurity to rise as a result of a new mother-figure in the house.
Well,like I had mentioned earlier men are not as emotional as women and these will reflect in a step-parenting .If not all,most will be considerate with regards to the children’s emotion
Be the natural you if you will be going into marriage with someone with kids,the next thing is to accept this man has children before your arrival hence don’t be too quick to form bond with them.make it gradual and don’t try to be their mother ,if you do they will never accept you as one.
Be considerate of their feelings as your relate with their father ,Don’t get jealous when he is with them remember he’s the only they’ve got before you showed up .
With these,I believe there will be strong connection between you and your stepchildren as you’d all respect the type of relationship you eventually formed together.
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